Resilience is a key attribute that we all need to succeed. But is the ability to bounce back innate, or can it be taught?

It’s very natural to be down in the dumps if you have a disappointment or rejection, however as you develop your resilience you can shorten the duration of that down time, it’s unrealistic for it to disappear completely, after all you are only human.

I definitely believe that resilience can be taught and is essential in the volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous times in which we live. The wonderful author Brene Brown said ‘Rising strong after a fall is how we cultivate wholeheartedness in our lives; it’s the process that teaches us the most about who we are.’ So the need to develop resilience is actually life enhancing.

A helpful tool to develop your resilience that I have used when delivering resilience training is: I have, I am, I can, here is it in more detail:

I have

Think about what you have in your life, what is a secure base for you, what external resources do you have access to? Such as:

• Trusting relationships
• Structure and rules
• Role models
• Encouragement to be autonomous
• Access to health, education and benefits

I am

Consider what inner strength and self-belief you have. What are you beliefs about yourself, how confident are you? Such as:

• Lovable
• Loving, emphatic and altruistic
• Proud of myself
• Autonomous and responsible
• Filled with hope, faith and trust

I can

Reflect on your interpersonal skills and what you have that you can make use of? How can your network help, how are your relationships? Such as:

• Communicate
• Problem solve
• Manage my feeling and impulses
• Gauge the temperament of myself and others
• Seek trusting relationships

A speaker at an event I attended recently described herself as a bouncy ball, ‘the harder you throw me down, the higher I bounce back up’, using I Have, I Am, I Can, will definitely enhance your bounce back ability.

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