Dr Tasha Eurich wants us to gain more self-awareness – and use it to improve leadership and working life.
This book is all about self-awareness: how to gain more of it, how to help our team members become more self-aware and how to cope with those around us who could do with a stiff dose of self-knowledge.
Dr Tasha Eurich (an organisational psychologist, researcher, speaker and New York Times-bestselling author) also breaks down the barriers to self-awareness – the areas where we can be blind to our capabilities, our own feelings and our behaviour; all of these have a huge impact on our sense of success.
Naturally! Eurich is keen to impress upon us that navel-gazing does not make us more self-aware. It can even have the opposite effect. Instead, she suggests meditation and offers three practical ways to start – none of which involves yoga mats or chanting.
1. The first is ‘reframing’, by which Eurich means looking at our situation from a different perspective. For example, if we lose our job, we should try not to mourn the past, but instead think about all the new opportunities it opens up.
2. Next we should ‘compare and contrast’, where instead of accepting how we feel as a static fact, we compare how we feel today with how we felt yesterday or last month. This will give insights into the reality of our situation.
3. And third, there's the ‘check-in’, where we allocate five minutes each day to considering what we can learn from today that might help us tomorrow.
This can be tricky for lots of reasons. Often, people don’t want to hurt our feelings and so sugar-coat the picture. Sometimes, we’re too scared to hear the truth or worry that people will think we’re weak if we ask to hear what they think of us.
We should only ask the people we trust – and who have nothing to gain from us feeling bad. We should make sure we have understood their feedback (asking for examples if we're not sure) and then ask ourselves whether it rings true.
If it does, we should decide whether it’s something we want to change, own and reframe as a positive, or something we just have to accept and work around.
Teams are just as likely to suffer a lack of self-awareness as individuals are. To avoid this, teams should look to share five collective insights:
objectives
progress
process
assumptions
individual contributions
Once team members are aligned on what success in each of those areas looks like, they should assess themselves regularly against each insight, and look for areas for improvement.
It might be, but probably unlike the project in hand, self-awareness is not a one-off piece; it's a lifelong journey.
To help make it feel more manageable, having a team ‘role model’ can help – someone who embodies our values and mission, so we can ask: “What would Greta Thunberg do?” as shorthand.
Some people have delusions that cannot be shaken and these stop them from being able to see anyone else’s perspective. This is their problem, not yours, so just worry about how you react and stay true to you.
Others might seem like they know exactly what they are doing, but they just don’t care. They too are unchangeable. Just imagine canned laughter behind their voice and try to mitigate the impact they have on your success.
Some people, while un-self-aware, do care about what other people think. However, the likelihood is that they have no idea. As a self-aware person, you can help them to understand.
“I would love to hear your feedback on the presentation I just gave.”
“I just gave the best presentation the board has ever seen!”