Nutshell: Gravitas – a thoroughly modern Roman virtue

How can we display confidence and authority when we communicate at work? The answer is by developing gravitas – a learnable and enhanceable skill.

Spare a thought for psychologist Albert Mehrabian. His work on the relationship between verbal and non-verbal communication must rank among the most misquoted scientific work ever.

 It’s simply not true that his “7% (words) -38% (tone of voice) -55% (non-verbal messages) rule” means that non-verbal cues account for 55% of any communication, no matter how often the claim is made. It’s all a bit more complex and finessed than that. 

The fact that Mehrabian keeps showing up is perhaps an indication, though, of our innate understanding of, or fascination with, those aspects of communication which aren’t just about what we say, but about how we say it.

That could be how we use our voice or a whole range of non-verbal cues – a gesture here, a facial expression there, how we stand, what we wear – that make up how we communicate. It’s a package that can make all the difference between creating the shared meaning we need when we communicate and misunderstandings, lack of connection or even a breakdown of trust.

Because communication is intimately bound up with behaviours, it stands to reason that, if we want to become better communicators, we need to pay attention to how our behaviours – and those of others – influence how we give and receive messages. For people to pay attention, to listen to us, we need not only to choose our words carefully, but also to pay attention to how we deliver them. 

This is especially important for leaders. Research shows that the effects of emotional contagion, the transfer of moods between people in a group, are amplified for leaders. 

If we can keep calm and communicate clearly, confidently and consistently, then we stand a much better chance of getting our messages across. 

But just how can we muster this kind of confidence and authority when we communicate at work? 

The gravitas equation

For voice coach Caroline Goyder, we’d do well to learn from the ancients.

She suggests that we should harness one of the Roman virtues, a characteristic that formed an important element of their blueprint for how to be a good Roman citizen: gravitas.

In her book Gravitas, Goyder explains how the idea of gravitas, and the rhetorical tradition that taught the ancients to deploy it, is still very much our friend when it comes to expressing ourselves effectively today. 

Gravitas has been defined variously as seriousness, dignity, influence and presence, something that evokes feelings of respect and trust in others.

We might not be able to describe it exactly, but we know it when we see it: just think of how we feel when we leave an inspirational or memorable presentation, or meet a new colleague and are left with the impression that they are, well, impressive. Those people have made a connection with us.

For Goyder, it’s part of an ancient tradition around what makes for impact: “how you think, how you speak, how you listen, how you move and how you manage emotion”.

Fortunately, she also agrees with the Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius, who suggested that the kinds of things that make up gravitas are within reach of us all: “Cultivate these, then, for they are wholly within your power: sincerity and dignity… be temperate in manner and speech; carry yourself with authority.”

Gravitas is a skill we can master with experience and practice.

To make that a reality, and with more than a passing reference to Aristotle’s three pillars of logos, ethos and pathos, Goyder provides her own blueprint, the gravitas equation: 

knowledge (logos) + purpose (ethos) + passion (pathos) -anxiety = gravitas

Knowledge is not just about what you know intellectually, your sphere of excellence, important as that is. It’s also about the way you express what you know, whether that’s in writing, using our voices or our bodies, being concise or keeping cool under pressure. 

Purpose is about values, what gives momentum, the greater good that makes things matter to us and to others. 

Passion is the spark that sets our knowledge alight. It inspires and engages us – and also others. 

Once we have our knowledge, purpose and passion working in harmony, and we can work towards managing and controlling the anxiety and self-consciousness that can derail us, then we’re well on the way to communicating with gravitas. 

The gravitas equation in action

In practical terms, Goyder suggests we look out for these signs of alignment in others, and learn from what we observe. Consider, for example:

 Knowledge (logos) factors

• expertise and authority

• clarity and conciseness of the message

• evidence of ‘physical knowledge’: grounded posture, voice and open and expressive body language

• a logically presented case, well-paced for the content and using appropriate vocabulary

Purpose (ethos) factors 

• a sense of purpose, of the greater good

• calmness, credibility and warmth – trust enablers

• authenticity – a match between inner and outer worlds

Passion (pathos) factors

• how engaged we are

• attentiveness to, and empathy with, the audience

• how we feel as a result

Self-regulation (management of anxiety) factors

• calmness and self-control

• minimal ego and self-consciousness

• dealing well with anxiety and stress

• being open to new challenges

• the ability to manage conflict elegantly and empathetically

Conversely, look out for tell-tale signs that gravitas is being compromised: rushing through things, not varying the pace of speech, negative body language or being derailed by a stressful situation.

The behaviours of gravitas

For Goyder, gravitas relies on “body” knowledge working in harmony with “mind” knowledge. It’s not just about what we know, but how we express it.

It’s about being physically grounded, aware of our own body language and able to deploy it effectively to match and enhance what we’re saying – rather than it being a distraction or diminishment.

It’s also about how we use our voices, perhaps one of our most underused tools when it comes to effective communication. While we might agonise over the building blocks of written communication or think carefully about gestures and posture, we often pay much less attention to how we say what we say when we’re communicating verbally.

Welcome to the world of paralinguistics.

There are several factors at play when it comes to using our voices effectively, including: 

Tone/register
Research suggests that lower voices project power and authority, whether for politicians or business leaders. Low voice tone comes from lower in our bodies, our diaphragms. 

Volume
Sometimes speaking more quietly is appropriate; at other times, we need to up the volume and project. Variation in volume creates interest. 

Pace
The pace or rate at which we speak should be neither too fast nor too slow. Too fast a pace is often associated with nerves, in which case we need to take a moment, breathe and recalibrate. Pace can also be varied for emphasis.

One rule of thumb that the drama school RADA encourages when giving a speech or presentation is to pause after each sentence for as long as the previous sentence just spoken. It can feel painfully slow to the speaker, but hugely clear and simple to the listener.

Pausing and silence
Not saying anything can be a very powerful way to communicate. Both pausing and silence can speak volumes, and help to reinforce what we do say. 

Prosody
Using the right intonation, stress and rhythm when we speak is crucial for communicating the right meaning. For Goyder, emphasising what she calls the “telegram” words that are essential for meaning is “the highlighter pen of good speech”. 

As with all forms of communication, the trick is to have these tools at your disposal and to deploy them depending on context and audience. We need to think of our voices as instruments, and that means practice: practice to find a low, grounded tone to give us gravitas; enunciate clearly; use pauses and silence more; find the right pace for that upcoming presentation or important meeting.  

It’s about hitting that sweet spot where clarity of message meets optimal delivery.

Towards gravitas

In his book Power Cues, communications theorist and coach Nick Morgan exhorts us to “take control of our communications before someone else does”.

His starting point is that, if we can teach ourselves to become more aware of the unconscious thoughts and behaviours that underpin so much communication, then we can better control our own communications and those of others. 

Morgan has identified seven ‘power cues’ which give us the opportunity to signal our intent as leaders: 

1. Become self-aware

Do an audit of how you’re currently showing up in your conversations, meetings or presentations. 

Are you powerful and commanding? Are you friendly and warm? Do people fear you, trust you, like you, avoid you, flock to you? What happens? Do you take charge or take a backseat? Knowing yourself is the precursor to mastering those unconscious behaviours.

2. Take charge of non-verbal communication

What emotions do we convey through our body language? 

We need to manage and focus our emotions, de-clutter our minds so that we stop having muddled interactions. When we can focus on the emotions we need when we need them, we can improve our non-verbal communications – and help to make others feel the same too (emotional contagion again).

In a nod to all the power posers out there, this process can start with the gestures to drive emotions or work from emotions to gestures. For Morgan, charisma is simply a matter of focused emotion. 

3. Learn to read others’ unconscious messages

Being able to decode non-verbal signals from others gives us an insight into them – without them having to say a word. We can learn to read the signals that others send us by asking some simple binary questions: is this person friend or foe? Is this person telling the truth or lying? Is this person on my side or not? Is this person powerful or not?

4. Master the power of your voice

We can learn to increase the leadership potential of our voices through practice, breathing and other vocal exercises. It really will make all the difference. 

5. Combine voice and body language

Look to synchronise body language and voice for maximum effect. 

6. Learn to manage your fears

As with Goyder’s gravitas equation, we need to balance all of the positive characteristics we’re looking to develop with tackling the big derailer: fear.

Like with all other inner critic voices, we need to acknowledge our fears around communication (writing them down often helps), compare the fears with the reality or likely reality and adjust our thinking accordingly. What’s the worst that can really happen? 

7. Become a storyteller

For Morgan, great leaders are storytellers. Stories create not only anticipation and interest, but also an emotional connection with an audience, which is what we need for the message to hit home. 

This leads us, perhaps inevitably, back to the ancients. Aristotle knew that emotion – his pathos – was essential to communicating with gravitas. Goyder calls this the need to win over both “hearts and minds”. We need to take our listeners or readers on a journey while we keep an open mind and on an even keel to meet the challenges ahead. 

 Mastering gravitas is about Goyder's concept of 'roots and wings': roots that give us stability and confidence in ourselves; wings that allow us to be open and easy with others.

When it comes to communicating at work, laying the gravitas groundwork really does create the environment where audiences actively want to listen to what we say. 

Test your understanding

• Outline the elements of Caroline Goyder's gravitas equation. 

• Identify three factors that we can deploy to use our voices to best effect when communicating.

What does it mean for you?

• Reflect on Nick Morgan's power cues. Choose two or three that you might focus on more intentionally to improve your impact when communicating.