All trust involves vulnerability. But just how vulnerable should leaders allow themselves to be? Dr Brennan Jacoby, founder of Philosophy at Work, provides us with a steer.
The benefits of trust to leadership are enormous: when those we lead feel secure in our competence, good will and moral character, they experience less stress, feel able to take risks, and are more likely to tackle difficult conversations.
Where trust is present in appropriate amounts, office politics give way so the projects and people you care about can benefit from your full and undivided attention.
All trust involves vulnerability, but as a leader, it is often unclear just how vulnerable you should allow yourself to be. For example, saying what we really think, among friends can build trust with those closest to us, but should such honesty be present in team meetings?
Equally, having a heart-to-heart with a colleague may build trust, but how will it impact on our authority? What place ought vulnerability to have in our leadership practice?
The answer is that if we value trust, vulnerability must feature strongly in our leadership. But it must feature in a specific way. It’s not about wearing our heart on our sleeve, or how much personal information we divulge. It’s about your ability to create safe spaces for ourselves and others, in which we can be imperfect humans who sometimes make mistakes.
We can do that while retaining our professional stance as a highly competent leader whom others have good reason to follow. The difference is that when things don’t go to plan, instead of jumping to blame or shame, we work with those involved to find a constructive solution, resulting in growth for the individuals involved and the project at hand.
It can be challenging to respond to setbacks in such a positive, trust-building way, and it’s tempting to lash out with blame or retreat in silence. These are symptoms of a deeper, but very common, issue: at some level, the fact that others are merely human has been forgotten; or our personal identity has become too closely associated with professional success.
To make space for human vulnerability where we lead, and by extension, to enable trust to flourish, we must embrace the humanity of our teams and take care to not let mistakes or apparent failures define us.
It can be helpful to return regularly to the following three questions:
Am I remembering the humanity of my team?
Am I expecting excellence too early in the life cycle of the projects I lead?
Am I allowing my team’s success to determine my identity or value?
Establishing and sustaining trust takes time and attention. There is no quick fix or easy answer, but leading your teams with humility and compassion will help ensure that you lay the foundations for trust.