Thought Leader: Why we must recognise the downsides of our positive traits

There are circumstances in which the positive characteristics that drive us forward can become negative, warns coach and wellbeing consultant Isabelle Campbell.

When we think about getting ahead in the workplace, certain terms spring to mind.

We have a habit of picturing success as something which is often achieved by those people we consider to be ‘heavy hitters’: employees who encapsulate high levels of drive, determination and grit – people who can get along with others and are as well liked as they are hard working. 

Pursuing a high level of achievement at work is a fantastic and positive thing. However, there are circumstances in which the positive traits which drive us forward can turn into negative ones. This is an issue we must look to identify and prevent as it can damage our chances of success and, potentially, the chances of those around us too. 

Being goal-orientated can cause friction and resentment

A typical example of how positive traits can become negative is excessive goal orientation. Goal orientated people are usually meticulous planners who clearly pave their routes to success with forward thinking: they enjoy planning, follow strict rules and don’t like missing key milestones they have mapped out for themselves. 

Possessing this trait obviously has a myriad of business benefits. However, being goal orientated and measuring success by the things you have achieved can also cause problems.

When we are focused planners who set our sights solely (and often passionately) on our goals, we can often end up misunderstanding, underestimating or even resenting colleagues who don’t operate in the same way. This is where a positive characteristic can become negative because comparison and resentment are two things which will often create friction with others.

On top of this, the goal-orientated person’s highly organised nature, which often involves roadmaps and linear approaches, means that they may not be particularly open to changes to set plans. If another person disrupts this – it can be upsetting. There’s also a danger that this kind of approach can come across as micromanaging.

So, if we’re goal orientated, how do we keep the balance between positive and negative? One way in which we can approach our working life is by reminding ourselves – or, perhaps, others who are goal orientated – that it doesn’t actually matter how we get to the end goal as long as we get there. 

People take very different approaches depending on their individual nature, and their working styles may be at polar opposites with their peers. However, as long as everyone is consistently meeting their targets in a timely manner, there is nothing for the goal orientated person to worry about.

We must learn to let go of our own planning processes, and make room for the techniques of others to keep our potentially negative trait in check.

Perfectionism can lead to unrealistic expectations 

Perfectionism is another classic example of a supposedly positive trait which can be extremely damaging. 

When we are a perfectionist, what we produce will often fall short of our impossibly high standards. Even when we’ve achieved our goals to the standards we’ve set, we will immediately want to build upon them or seek new ones.

The danger of this trait is that there’s never an end point at which a perfectionist will be satisfied. We will often seek validation and success from external sources rather than from within.

This means that there will always be something to strive for and something to improve on – as we will constantly be trying to make noticeable improvements to gain positive feedback and a sense of progression. This can lead to stress, burn out, and various other problems related to a relentless workload. 

However, it can also be problematic from a broader, group-based perspective. In the workplace, if a manager or fellow team member is a perfectionist, can they ever be satisfied?

If someone is their own harshest critic, that judgement will naturally radiate outwards towards others and they will judge other people by their own very high standards: that’s unfair on everyone involved and can be disruptive to building connections within a team in the first place. 

In order to balance the benefits of perfectionism (such as high-quality work and high standards) with the potential pitfalls, we must learn to draw boundaries when it comes to our standards. Try and create feasible targets at the beginning of a project for all involved, to ensure you know when to draw a line and move on – and to help keep targets at a reasonable level for everybody. 

Empathy can get in the way of rational decision-making

Empathy is an excellent trait to have. It often signifies high emotional intelligence (EQ), the ability to get along well with colleagues and it lends itself to getting the best out of people.

However, empathy also comes with potential downsides. For example, it may get in the way of rational decision-making, as it is so tied to emotive tendencies and the wellbeing of others.
 
If we’re highly empathetic, it will no doubt impact upon our ability to make difficult business decisions that need to be focused on efficiency. That’s not to say that an empathetic person cannot make hard business decisions; however, there will likely be an internal conflict when it comes to doing so – and this could impact on the person's wellbeing.

Another challenge for empaths is their desire to make other people feel better about their own shortcomings, which may lead them to play down the severity of a colleague’s failings. This can lead to inauthentic feedback and issues being left unaddressed.

The empath may try to protect and look after the person making mistakes – even when it comes at their own or other people’s expense (for example, by not speaking up or whistle-blowing when they should). 

To create a balance between the positive and negatives of this personality trait, we must learn to step back, assess situations in a more logical manner and try to marry a certain level of pragmatism to our kind-hearted and optimistic natures.

Self-awareness is the answer

Ultimately, almost any positive trait can become negative if it is taken to its extreme. The key to preventing this lies in self-awareness.

Self-reflection, and courting authentic feedback, can help us to recognise the points at which our positive traits border on the negative – and we can then respond to any issues that arise from these tendencies. By channelling our default (positive) characteristics into sensible realities we will find a sustainable balance that works for us, our colleagues and our organisations.